


Blaine IRL

by carojane



Category: Glee
Genre: 2009, Gen, M/M, Screenplay/Script Format, Season 1, YouTube, eventual Klaine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-02 14:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10219802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carojane/pseuds/carojane
Summary: It's 2009 and Blaine has just moved across the state and is starting as a freshman at McKinley High School. Now he has a new YouTube channel to chronicle his misadventures along the way.





	1. GOING SOLO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine parents' have moved him halfway across the state. So he starts a vlog.

**Episode 1**  
**GOING SOLO**  
08/02/2009

INT. BLAINE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

A room with blank beige wall, no pictures or curtains on the windows. Boxes are stacked and pushed against the walls, some open, but mostly closed.

BLAINE is sitting on the floor with the boxes surrounding him. He is wearing a blue t-shirt with yellow letters that spell out CARSON JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL PHYS ED, jeans rolled at the ankles, and bare feet. He looks directly into the camera with a resigned look on his face, and sighs before starting to speak.

BLAINE 

> I don’t know where I’m going to sleep, tonight.
> 
> No, I’m serious. There is currently no furniture in my room. No furniture, only boxes. My mom ordered a new bed for me - I graduated from a twin to a QUEEN, yay! - and it was supposed to be delivered by this weekend. The mattress store called this morning - it’s on backorder and won’t arrive until Tuesday at the earliest.
> 
> Maybe I can push all these boxes together and sleep on them?

BLAINE attempts to sit on an empty cardboard box which collapses making him fall through.

BLAINE

> My name is Blaine and I’m new here.

* * *

BEGIN TITLES

Still photos of BLAINE at various ages, selfies and short video clips of BLAINE performing or hamming it up for the camera are cut together over BLAINE singing the chorus of Mika's Grace Kelly.

BLAINE

> I could be brown  
>  I could be blue  
>  I could be violet sky  
>  I could be hurtful  
>  I could be purple  
>  I could be anything you like  
>  Gotta be green  
>  Gotta be mean  
>  Gotta be everything more  
>  Why don't you like me?  
>  Why don't you like me?  
>  Why don't you walk out the door!

TITLE CARD of the words "BLAINE in Real Life" animated on a pink background

* * *

EXT. ANDERSON HOUSE FRONT YARD - EARLIER THE SAME DAY

BLAINE is holding the camera facing him as he walks down his driveway. Movers are carrying furniture and boxes out of a large U-Haul truck.

BLAINE

> As you can see, I’m in the middle of a big move and things aren’t quite settled yet.

The camera focuses on the movers, switching to fast motion, while a generic royalty free instrumental song plays. Their movements are sped up as they enter the house with items then return to the truck for more. Once, Blaine's dad stands on the porch, saying something to the movers, then returning into the house.

BLAINE

> My dad got a new job as the head of a company in western Ohio, which is awesome for him, but means that the entire family was uprooted and dragged halfway across the state.  
>  It was hard leaving all my friends behind, especially by two besties, Ellie and Josh. We've been friends since the beginning of middle school after we all joined show choir. It was kind of a big deal at our old school. Don't get me wrong - choir kids were still considered massively geeky by the rest of the students, but we were really good at what we did. Two years in a row, we won the Midwest Intermediate Regional Show Choir Championship, and last year, we sang at the State Fair.

A picture briefly appears in the right top corner of the screen. In it, the choir is mid song on stage at the Ohio State Fair, BLAINE in the center with a microphone in his hand. 

BLAINE

> In seventh grade, Ellie, Josh and I started fooling around, making videos of ourselves singing, dancing, and making up crazy skits, which we posted to YouTube. We have over 1,000 subscribers who watch us make fools of ourselves every week.

Jump cut to a fifteen second clip of BLAINE with a girl and a boy - Ellie and Josh - dressed in 1990s inspired hip-hop clothes, attempting the dance from Salt'N'Peppa's "Shoop" video.

BLAINE

> Since I now live far far far away from Ellie and Josh, I’m no longer going to be making videos with them on our old channel. They promised to keep posting, so go check it out.
> 
> It’s time for me to branch out on my own - do my own thing, be my own man. What’s better for a new beginning than starting a new channel? I just moved to a new house in a new city, and soon I’m going to be starting high school not knowing anyone. So, I thought I’d document my transition into a brand new life.
> 
> Of course, knowing me, there will be plenty of music and singing and dancing, too.
> 
> In consolation for dragging me away from my home and my friends, my parents did hook me up with a new camera, so hopefully I can make some quality videos.

PHOTO MONTAGE of BLAINE, Ellie, Josh and other friends plays while BLAINE waxes on nostalgically.

BLAINE

> It was hard leaving all of my friends behind. We had so many great times in middle school, with show choir and school musicals. We acted like complete idiots and laughed at ourselves.
> 
> There were also times in middle school that completely sucked, and I’m glad are over now.
> 
> It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and all that jazz.

We return to BLAINE in his empty bedroom, sitting on the floor among the boxes, looking sad and serious.

BLAINE 

> So, here’s to new beginnings. It’s exciting to be able to start over new. I’ve already googled my school obsessively, and may have even face book stalked some kids who list it as their high school in their profiles. There’s only so much you can learn, though. It really is the wild unknown.
> 
> To all of the people who followed me here from our old channel, I’m really glad you’re here!
> 
> To my dear dear friends, especially Ellie and Josh - I miss you already! Good luck in all your adventures and tell me all about them.

CUT TO BLACK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sneak peek only. I have a little bit more written, and a whole lot more outlined.


	2. DRAW MY LIFE

**Episode 2**

**DRAW MY LIFE**

08/09/2009

EXT. ANDERSON HOUSE BACKYARD

BLAINE is sitting outside on the grass, back against a tree, sunglasses on. He’s wearing a button up madras shirt with a yellow bowtie and pink shorts. He looks at the camera and waves.

BLAINE

> Hi Everyone! My room is still a mess. I know, Still! So since I can’t film in my room, and I’ve always loved Draw My Life videos, I thought it was the perfect time to do one of my own.
> 
> My name is BLAINE and this is my life.

* * *

BEGIN TITLES

Still photos of BLAINE at various ages, selfies and short video clips of BLAINE performing or hamming it up for the camera are cut together over BLAINE singing the chorus of Mika's Grace Kelly.

BLAINE

> I could be brown  
>  I could be blue  
>  I could be violet sky  
>  I could be hurtful  
>  I could be purple  
>  I could be anything you like  
>  Gotta be green  
>  Gotta be mean  
>  Gotta be everything more  
>  Why don't you like me?  
>  Why don't you like me?  
>  Why don't you walk out the door!

TITLE CARD of the words "BLAINE in Real Life" animated on a pink background

* * *

The screen goes white. A rough outline of the US is drawn in black with a large red dot marked in the lower left corner - over the coast of southern California. A symbol of a baby - a wrapped bundle with round head - appears to the left of the dot.

BLAINE (VO)

> My story begins in San Diego in 1995. I was born in late March, two weeks early, and with a full head of hair, according to my Lola. We lived in California near my mom’s family until I was three when we said goodbye to Lola and my aunties and moved across the country to Cleveland.

Extending from the dot, a line arcs across the outline of the US to land over the approximate location of Cleveland, where a new red dot is drawn. The picture is erased.

BLAINE (VO)

> When I started school, I made friends easily.

School is represented as a large rectangle with small squares as windows, and a flag pole in front. A stick figure with a bowtie and curly hair stands next to the school, with a label that says “me!”.

BLAINE (VO)

> There was Emma, Ryan and Tyrone, but my best friend was Justin who lived down the street from me.

As BLAINE lists the names of his friends, a stick figure appears, each with an identifying feature - pigtails, freckles, a baseball cap, and spiked hair. The last one is labeled “Justin”.

BLAINE (VO)

> Together, we played superhero, running down the sidewalks in costumes trying to save the day, or Star Wars, having battles with imaginary light sabers.

The BLAINE stick figure and Justin figure now have a green and red line, respectively, extending from their hands, to represent light sabers.

BLAINE (VO)

> When we started Middle School a lot of things changed. Ryan and Tyrone both went to different middle schools and Emma moved away.

The other stick figures are erased one by one.

BLAINE (VO)

> Then there was Justin, who decided that dressing up as super heroes was gay, singing karaoke in my basement was gay, and that I was gay. He made new friends, leaving me behind.

The light sabers are erased, then a speech bubble next to the stick figure of Justin says “Gay!”, before Justin is erased and the speech bubble are erased. Then the rest of scene is erased, remaining blank during as BLAINE continues talking.

BLAINE (VO)

> Justin’s new best friend was Mark, a bully who taunted most of the class, but he targeted me in particular. He made fun of my clothes, my hair, my taste in music, and even my mom. None of the teachers noticed and my parents said to stand up for myself. I tried that and it backfired, so I decided just to ignore Mark and his friend instead.

Stick figure BLAINE is redrawn, with a bow tie and curly hair, and gradually other stick figures are drawn around him. One with glasses and another with long red hair are labeled as Josh and Ellen. Music notes surround the group of stick figures.

BLAINE (VO)

> It was okay, though, because I made new friends too, including my very best friends El and Josh. We met in choir, and quickly found out that we all loved singing and dancing. We did school plays together and competed in show choir.

All but the BLAINE, Josh and Ellen stick figures are erased.

BLAINE (VO)

> Last year, I decided to tell Josh and El something that I had realized about myself. I am gay. Josh’s reaction was “Me too!”

Speech bubbles appear above the BLAINE and Josh stick figures saying “I’m gay!” and “Me too!”

BLAINE (VO)

> Josh and I both came out at school. Most of our friends were really cool about it. Even if they thought we were dating. (We were just best friends.)
> 
> Mark was not cool, though, and started taunting us even more than before. “Queer”, “Fag”, “Butt boy” he would hiss at us in class or yell in the hallways. He told everyone that Josh and I were “Butt Buddies”.

A new stick figure appears with an angry expression, the slurs written in capitals next to it.

BLAINE (VO)

> Finally, one day, Josh turned to Mark and said in front of everyone, “Why are you so obsessed with our butts?”

A speech bubble is added that says “OMG! Why are you obsessed with our butts!?!” and the face of the Mark stick figure is colored in red, and steam puffs blow out of his ears.

The scene is erased, replaced by a disco ball and curtains framing screen.

BLAINE (VO)

> At the end of the school year, there was a Sadie Hawkins dance. I asked Josh to go with me as my date. We had fun dancing and joking with all our friends that night.

The BLAINE and Josh stick figures are drawn under the disco ball, holding hands.

BLAINE (VO)

> While we were waiting for Josh’s dad to come pick us up, Mark showed up with his two brothers. They were huge high schoolers, each twice my size.

Mark stick figure reappears with two hulking figures flanking it.

BLAINE (VO)

> Mark started yelling at us, calling us disgusting. We told them to just go away, that Josh’s dad would be there soon and they would be in trouble. It wasn’t soon enough, because Mark punched me in the stomach and his brothers followed, beating the crap out of me and Josh.

Comic book style “Bam” “Pow” “Zing” flash on the screen, before the scene is erased, replaced by an ambulance with a flashing red light.

BLAINE (VO)

> We both went to the hospital, and I had to stay there for three days.

The ambulance is erased leaving a blank screen.

BLAINE (VO)

> I finished the rest of the school year from home, but it was only three more weeks and my friends came to visit me all the time.
> 
> On the last day of school, El and Josh came over to celebrate. Thankfully middle school was finally over, and we would never be in school with Mark again.

The BLAINE, Josh and Ellen stick figures are drawn with a large speech bubble over them saying “High School’s gonna be AWESOME!”

BLAINE (VO)

> Then my dad announced that he got a transfer and we would be moving to the other side of Ohio.

Another speech bubble pointed off screen says, “We’re moving.” before both bubbles are erased.

BLAINE (VO)

> I cried the day we moved, and hugged El and Josh who came to say goodbye to me. They got to go to high school together.

The Josh and Ellen stick figures are erased.

BLAINE (VO)

> But then I realized that I’m a new student in a new school, and I can be whoever I want to be.

A still of a smiling BLAINE lying on the grass with his hands behind his head appears on screen.

BLAINE (VO)

> So here I am. My Freshman year starts in a couple weeks. I have new clothes, a new haircut, new school supplies, and a brand new attitude. I am ready for anything.

CUT TO BLACK


	3. MEET THE ANDERSONS

**Episode 3**

**MEET THE ANDERSONS**

08/16/2009

INT. BLAINE’S BEDROOM

Blaine, wearing a blue polo shirt, sits facing the camera, his bedroom visible behind him. The room has been wallpapered a dark green stripe pattern and decorated, and only a few boxes remain on the floor next to the bookcase. He reads from a copy of ‘Anna Karenina’

BLAINE

> “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in it’s own way.”
> 
> Okay, that’s unfair. My family isn’t unhappy. We are each very happy with our own lives. We just are unhappy when we have to spend time with each other.
> 
> Some of you in the comments noticed that I skipped from the “Hello, World!” stage [drawing of baby Blaine from Draw My Life video appears on screen] to fully formed school boy [stick figure Blaine also appears] with hardly anything said about my mom, my dad or anyone else in my family. [drawings disappear]
> 
> You caught me. I didn’t talk about them, and I guess they are pretty important in the whole story of my life.
> 
> So, I guess I’m Blaine and this is my family.

* * *

BEGIN TITLES

Still photos and video clips of BLAINE at various ages with his family are cut together over BLAINE singing to Elton John's I Want Love

> But I want love, just a different kind  
>  I want love, won't break me down  
>  Won't brick me up, won't fence me in  
>  I want a love, that don't mean a thing  
>  That's the love I want, I want love

TITLE CARD with the words "BLAINE in Real Life" in red bubble letters on a black background

* * *

A picture of a young smiling Pam Anderson appears to the right of Blaine.

BLAINE

> This is my mom, Pam. Back in the early 1990s, she was living in San Diego with my Lola and her three younger sisters, my Aunties Patty, Suzy and Sharon, and studying business at UCSD. While in college, she also worked part time in several different jobs, including as receptionist as a large company.
> 
> It was there that she met a manager from one of the regional offices in Indiana, who travelled to the corporate headquarters often. Mom said there was an instant spark between them. This, of course, was my dad.

A picture of John Anderson appears to the left of Blaine.

BLAINE

> Things were complicated, though, because dad already had an idyllic middle American middle class life and family back in Indiana, with a housewife and a precocious son.

The photo pans out to show a woman and very young Cooper Anderson.

BLAINE

> The spark must have been powerful though, because over a short period of time my dad went from married and living in Indiana, to divorced, remarried and living in San Diego. Four months later, I was born.

The photos of Pam and John are replaced by a wedding photo of the two together and a photo of Pam holding newborn Blaine in a hospital bed.

BLAINE

> As you can imagine, considering the circumstances, my older brother, Cooper, wasn’t exactly thrilled to have a new step-mother or baby brother. He was just old enough to understand that our dad had betrayed his mom, and he hated him for it. My dad must have felt guilty, because he always let Cooper get away with things and was always giving him gifts or money. He still does.
> 
> After we moved to Cleveland, Cooper started spending the summers with us, living the rest of the year with his mom. I idolized him, growing up, and following him around, trying to copy everything he did. He enjoyed the attention, even when he got annoyed at always having a tiny shadow.
> 
> Cooper was my introduction into music. He taught me all the classic rock heroes of the 1970s, 80s and 90s, especially the artists of the New Wave. We would make up dance routines to songs, performing them for neighbors who thought we were adorable.

Jump cut to a clip from an old family video featuring Cooper and Blaine performing a Rio/Hungry Like the Wolf mash-up.

Cut back to Blaine, looking wistful.

BLAINE

> Every year, at the end of the summer, I would cry when it was time for Cooper to go back to his mom’s house. He would promise to call or write, but I would never hear from him until he returned the next summer. It was the same every year until Cooper graduated from high school when I was ten.
> 
> Just like he had threatened my dad for years, Cooper moved to Los Angeles as soon as high school was over to pursue acting. He stopped coming to visit during the summer or at holidays and I’ve only seen him once since then, at the funeral for our grandpa last year.
> 
> When he was here, I told him I was gay and planning on telling mom and dad. He was supportive, and told me about an audition he went on where the character was gay. Or at least, how he was playing the character, he was gay. He also told me that he missed me and that we should stay in touch more often.
> 
> But, after he returned to California he never responded any of the times I tried to reach out to him. The most I got was a Get Well card when I was in the hospital.
> 
> I could have used him to talk to when I told my parents I was gay. They didn’t take it well.
> 
> My mom locked herself in her bedroom for three days straight, with a “headache”. When she finally emerged, she refused to talk about it, changing the subject whenever I tried to bring it up.
> 
> Taking a different approach, my dad started a none-too-subtle campaign to straighten me up. Where before, he was always too busy to even play scrabble with me once a fortnight, suddenly, he was insisting that we spend more and more time together, to bond. “As men.”
> 
> We went fishing, we went camping, we went golfing. He bought an old car for us to rebuild together. He took me to Indians games. It was awkward and quickly became obvious that he was only doing it in an attempt to “fix me”.
> 
> After I was attacked at the Sadie Hawkins dance, he told me that I had asked for it, and has barely spoken to me since.
> 
> My parents were never the type of parents that I could go to if I had problems, and I’ve always been pretty independent because of that. When I told my mom about getting taunted by Mark, she told me I needed to grow a thicker skin.
> 
> Please don’t get me wrong, I love my family. I do. Sometimes I dream of becoming a Broadway star and looking out to see them in the audience, faces beaming with pride.
> 
> I’ve learned to temper my expectations.

CUT TO BLACK


	4. BRING IT ON

Episode 4  
BRING IT ON  
08/23/2009 

INT. BLAINE’S BEDROOM

Medium closeup on Blaine, facing the camera and wearing a red polo shirt.

BLAINE (Loftily.)

> There comes a time in every man’s life when he must look deep within himself and ask “What should I do with my life?”

He pulls Red and White pompoms into frame and shakes them.

BLAINE

> My name is Blaine and I want to be a cheerleader. Yay!

* * *

BEGIN TITLES

Photos of Blaine posing with the pom poms over a recording of him reciting the cheer from Bring It On. 

BLAINE

> I'm sexy, I'm cute! I'm popular to boot!  
>  I'm bitchin', great hair! The boys all love to stare!  
>  I'm wanted, I'm hot! I'm everything your not!  
>  I'm pretty, I'm cool! I dominate this school!  
>  Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest!  
>  I'm rockin'! I smile! And many think I'm vile.  
>  I'm flyin', I jump! You can look but don't you hump! Whoo!  
>  I'm major, I roar! I swear I'm not a whore!  
>  We cheer and we lead! We act like we're on speed!  
>  Don't hate ate us cause we're beautiful well we don't like u either!  
>  We're cheerleaders! We are cheerleaders! ROLL CALL! 

TITLE CARD of the words "Blaine in Real Life" in black and white block letters on a red background.

* * *

BLAINE

> So, being a child of the social media age, one of the first things I did when my dad told me we were moving - after crying to the world how life wasn’t fair - I spent a lot of time googling my new school, as one does, and Facebook stalking people who go to school there. From what I can tell, my school is a typical American high school, much like you would expect to see in a John Hughes movie from the eighties.
> 
> Side note: I was named after a character from a John Hughes movie. No seriously, it was my mom’s favorite movie growing up. Post in the comments if you can guess which one. No cheating!
> 
> Of course there’s the boring official school website, that looks like it was built in 2002 and never updated since. And that is not even an exaggeration, because there was a picture of graduating students holding a sign that said “Class of 2002”.
> 
> Every news story about the school’s football team said they had lost another game, but the hockey team went to the State Championship last year where they lost to a team from Akron.
> 
> I’m not interested in playing either football or hockey, though. I love watching college football, and I even played pee wee football, until I broke my nose and quit on the spot. Really, I’m okay sitting on the sidelines when it comes to full-contact sports.
> 
> When I did a Google Image search of my school, half of the pictures were of cheerleaders. So, I followed some links and quickly learned that my new school’s cheerleading team is a nationally ranked squad that competes both in the high school circuit and the all star level. The coach recruits top cheerleaders from around Ohio and Indiana, even moving them into the district just to join the team.
> 
> So I looked them up on YouTube, where there are hundreds of videos of their routines from competitions or half time shows.
> 
> And damn, they’re good.
> 
> I’m more of a singer than a dancer, but I love performing, and I really like winning. 
> 
> Also, I’m pretty good at gymnastics. Okay, it’s self-taught, so the form is probably off, but I’ve been tumbling for fun in my backyard since I was in Kindergarten and I can do some complicated combos, if I warm up enough.
> 
> So, I though: I could do that. I, Blaine Anderson, can be a cheerleader.

Jump cut to a clip of Blaine imitating Elle Woods, saying “What, like it’s hard?”

Cut back to Blaine looking seriously into the camera.

BLAINE

> Yes. It’s hard. It’s very very very hard.

Jump cut to a montage of Blaine doing flips and falling down.

BLAINE

> I worked all summer on perfecting my tumbling skills, and even enlisting in the help of Ellen’s older sister Kara, who is an All-Star cheerleader. And who, when I told her the name of the team I wanted to join, flat out told me I had no chance in hell.
> 
> But so what? I’ll only be a Freshman this year. If I don’t make it, there’s a whole year until the next tryouts. But it’s still worth trying this year, right?
> 
> I don’t know what chance I have to actually make the team, but I am confident that my abilities will at least impress the coach. At least I’ll stand out in one way. The team right now is all girls, though they’ve had one or two guys on the team in the past. They often bring in professional male cheerleaders to perform with them, but they aren’t allowed to compete because they aren’t students.
> 
> Kara helped a lot with my tumbling - correcting my form and technique.

A clip plays of Blaine in a back yard performing a round off back handspring whip double back handspring layout.

BLAINE

> And she taught me how to dance, cheer style. I’ve always thought I was good dancer, but in cheer all your movements are so much more controlled and exact. It’s not harder or easier - it’s just different.
> 
> We came up with a routine that showcases my best tumbling moves, dance and cheer calls - which are pretty awkward to do, if you ask me, but I guess I’ll have to get used to it. Here’s a sneak peek.

A short thirty second clip of Blaine dancing, jumping and tumbling to the original Jock Jams Megamix. He falls and stumbles several times but gets up and starts where he left off.

BLAINE

> It’s still a little sloppy, but I’ve gotten so much better since the beginning of the summer. Ellen was making fun of me for wanting to join cheer, and Josh laughed at me the whole time, but in the end they cheered along when I performed the routine for them.
> 
> School starts in a few days, and I think I’m ready. I have new clothes, I have new supplies, I have a totally kick-ass routine for cheer tryouts! I think I’m ready!

CUT TO BLACK.


	5. THE FRESHMAN

Episode 5  
THE FRESHMAN  
08/30/2009 

INT. BLAINE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

BLAINE sits on the edge of his bed, its plaid cover tucked in and pillows fluffed to resemble more a fastidious suburban housewife’s master bed than a teenage boy’s room. The boy in question is wearing a white short sleeve button up shirt with a navy and light blue argyle sweater vest over it.

BLAINE

> Well, I’m officially a high schooler. A freshman - a frosh - fresh meat. And so far, so…

BLAINE smiles an overlarge grin and holds up both of his thumbs, but this melts into a grimace and both hands shaking in a “so-so” gesture.

BLAINE

> Okay.
> 
> Some of you may have seen my tweet and know that, no, I am not a cheerleader.

Screen cap of a tweet that says “My cheerleading dreams have been dashed.” pops onto the screen.

BLAINE

> But fear not, I have not given up my plan to fit in and find my place in society. Or at least the society of my new school.
> 
> My name is Blaine, and there’s been a change in plans.

* * *

BEGIN TITLES

Pictures of Blaine on the first days of school and school photos through the years appear in a slideshow while Blaine sings The White Stripes' We're Going to be Friends.

> Fall is here  
>  Hear the yell  
>  Back to school  
>  Ring the bell  
>  Brand new shoes  
>  Walking blues  
>  Climb the fence  
>  Books and pens  
>  I can tell that we are gonna be friends  
>  I can tell that we are gonna be friends 

TITLE CARD of the words "Blaine in Real Life" written like chalk letters on a green background.

* * *

BLAINE

> First of all, I want to say hi and thank you for watching and commenting on my videos. And for subscribing to my channel! I can’t believe I actually have subscribers! Strangers are watching my channel. Welcome! Hi El and Josh, too! I hope to hear how your first day was soon.
> 
> This was the first week of school for me and overall it went pretty well. I only got lost a couple of times. No one tried to sell me tickets to the roof pool and I avoided getting doused with a slushy.
> 
> Apparently, that’s a thing at my new school.
> 
> Choosing the First Day outfit was obviously very important, and in line with my plan to join the cheerleading team, I decided to go with the school colors - Black, Red and White - to show school spirit. I went bold but with classic lines.

Jump to a clip of Blaine modeling for the camera his first day outfit - red pants, a black polo shirt with a white woven belt and a black, white and red striped bowtie.

BLAINE

> My first mission at school was to find the sign up sheet for cheerleading and put my name down for a tryout.
> 
> Mission failed.
> 
> You see, this great cheerleading team has a legendary and infamous coach - Sue Sylvester. And today I got the dubious honor of meeting her.
> 
> I was just about to put pen to paper, to sign up for the team, when she came stomping up behind me.

Cut to BLAINE, wearing a red tracksuit jacket. He faces off camera to the right and imitates Coach Sylvester.

BLAINE AS SUE

> “Stop right there. Just what do you think you’re doing?”

Cut back to BLAINE in his white shirt and sweater vest, looking off camera to the left and up.

BLAINE AS PAST BLAINE

> “I’m signing up for Cheerios try outs.”

Cut Back to BLAINE as Coach Sylvester.

BLAINE AS SUE

> “Uh uh, no way. Verne Troyer.”

Cut to BLAINE facing the camera, looking unimpressed.

BLAINE

> Yes, she compared me to the man who played mini-me in the Austen Powers movies.

Cut to BLAINE as Coach Sylvester.

BLAINE AS SUE

> “You must be this tall to ride.”

We return to BLAINE looking at the camera, disappointed. He sighs.

BLAINE

> Can you believe that? My first day of school and already the short jokes start. She was dead serious though - even stalked away with the clipboard in hand, so I had no way to sign up. Strangely, nobody else around seemed worried by her outburst, or the fact she insulted a student so brazenly.
> 
> So, after all that work, I don’t even get the chance to fail on my own merit. I’m really disappointed.
> 
> Since my Cheer dreams were crushed, I decided to find a new club to join and quickly discovered that there is a glee club at my new school. 
> 
> It hasn’t won any competitions in years and all I can find out about it in the show choir blogs is that it’s a stool choir. And not really any good. But joining will give me a chance to sing and dance again. And who knows, maybe the choir just needs the right performers to bring it back to life. 
> 
> Glee isn’t exactly the same as my old group in middle school. We were all excited to sing and put in the effort need towards winning a Midwest Regional Championship. This group is full of kids who don’t even sing during rehearsals, spending the whole time texting or playing Mafia Wars. I heard that Mr. R - the director is giving them all A’s in his English class to be there, and lets them do whatever they want.
> 
> The only other person who seems to care about glee club is a sophomore named Rachel. At first she seemed excited to sing with me, calling me her male lead. She was even more excited when I told her I was gay - after she told me we should date. It turns out she has gay days, which is cool.
> 
> Everything changed, though, when Mr. R gave me a solo. 
> 
> She turned to me and said, “I hadn’t realized you were an attention-seeking spotlight-stealing backstabber,” before storming out of the choir room.
> 
> It does feel good to get a solo, though. It’s a bit of an ego boost as a freshman that Mr. R thinks that I am good enough after only one practice and my audition. 
> 
> Unfortunately, the song is “Where is Love” from the musical Oliver! It’s not that I can’t sing it, it’s just not one of my favorite songs, or musicals. I’ll be practicing it all this weekend, and on Monday I have a one-on-one lesson with Mr. R, so hopefully I can make it into something great.
> 
> My school seems cool enough, I guess. It’s big and there are a lot more students than in middle school. Everybody seems so much bigger than me. I’m a small guy, so I should be used to it by now, but it seems like puberty hit some of these guys hard.

CUT TO BLACK


	6. THE WEIRDEST WEEK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine didn't think that it could get any worse. It did.

Episode 6  
The Weirdest Week  
09/06/2009 

INT. BLAINE’S BEDROOM - DAY

Blaine, in a black polo shirt, sits on the bench at the end of his bed, looking into the camera. He doesn’t speak for several seconds, taking several false starts.

BLAINE

> Glee club is over.

[Pause.]

> Mr. Ryerson was fired. 

[Pause.]

> My name is Blaine and this was the weirdest week of my life.

* * *

BEGIN TITLES

Blaine sings the chorus of 'Breathe (2am)' by Anna Nalick while playing along on a piano.

> 'Cause you can't jump the track  
>  We're like cars on a cable  
>  And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table  
>  No one can find the rewind button, girl.  
>  So cradle your head in your hands  
>  And breathe...   
>  Just breathe,  
>  Oh breathe  
>  Just breathe  
> 

TITLE CARD with a black background and the words "Blaine in Real Life" in white.

* * *

BLAINE

> I have no words, really.

Blaine fidgets and looks away from the camera, shifting nervously. He looks back and lets out a sigh before speaking.

BLAINE

> On Monday I had a private rehearsal with the glee club director, Mr. Ryerson, to practice my solo, and I was pretty excited about it.
> 
> Show choir may not be a big deal here. Half the members are only in it for the free class credit and the club hasn’t won an award in at least a decade, and even the kids who are in the club make fun of it constantly.
> 
> Still, singing and dancing - that’s my thing, what I love to do. And I’m good at it, too.
> 
> When Mr. Ryerson gave me a solo on the first day of rehearsal, I was thrilled, really. I mean, I am just a freshman and I got the first solo of the year. Of course I was proud.
> 
> Rachel - the only other person who seems to care about show choir - was very upset that she wasn’t the soloist, and was very vocal about that during practice.
> 
> Afterwards, I had the one-on-one with Mr. Ryerson to rehears ‘Where Is Love?’.
> 
> The second time through the song, he put his hand on my stomach. And I thought, okay, weird, but he’s helping me find my breath support so it’s okay. I mean, he knows what he’s doing, right?
> 
> But then, he, um, put his hand lower. You know, on me… there.

Blaine fidgets his hands, gesturing and flailing haphazardly.

> I didn’t even know how to react. I just froze. “Keep singing,” he said, with his hand still on me, and like an idiot I did.
> 
> Thankfully, the door slammed, startling both of us, and it shocked me into action. I ran out of there so fast and he was yelling at me not to tell anyone.

He pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing.

> So, I decided I would just quit. No more glee club. No more Rachel. And no more Mr. Ryerson.
> 
> I didn’t even think of telling anyone, I would just avoid him.
> 
> Well, it turns out someone saw it all and told the principal - Rachel. My parents were called in, and it was so embarrassing. But on the upside, Ryerson was fired and isn’t allowed back. And of course, without a director, glee club was disbanded.
> 
> I don’t even want to think about it. I just want to pretend like it never happened.
> 
> But I can’t. It’s all over the school. Everybody knows what happened.
> 
> Well, not really. Because, just like that game of telephone, where one kid whispers a word to another kid, and then they whisper what they heard to the next kid, and so on down the line, until the last kid says what they heard out loud and it’s completely different from the original word. Just like that, what happened and what people are saying happened are completely different.
> 
> Nobody at school really knows me, so I plan on riding out my anonymity until the gossip mill rides it’s course. 
> 
> In other news, there’s a new glee club already. The Spanish teacher started it almost immediately after Ryerson left, and of course Rachel was one of the first to join. So, I’m not going anywhere near that club. I'm surprised they actually got people to join, since the seniors taking it for an easy A in English no longer had an excuse and it has become the most infamous club at school.
> 
> I really miss my old glee club from middle school. Everyone actually wanted to be there and we really had fun singing together. We were supportive of each other, got to travel for competitions, performed in front of large audiences at the State Fair and theme parks. Maybe it was because we were younger and people didn't care as much, but nobody really cared that we were singing nerds who liked to put on costumes and dance on stage.
> 
> Our director, Ms. Baldwin was partially senile and she used an old bra as a rag to wipe down the white boards, and but at least she wasn’t a pedofile.
> 
> I wish I had that still.

Blaine sighs, presses his hands on his face, looks upwards and then back at the camera.

> This was the only the first full week of school, and I have four more years to show them who I am. This week sucked, but it will get better. It has to get better. Right?

CUT TO BLACK


End file.
